Detroit vs. Miami, the Sequel:GOODBYE HEAT

Effectively, properly, effectively, its that time of the year again, with the NBA Playoffs for the Eastern Conference Finals. Its all about matchups, NOT only ON but also OFF the court. Right here are the matchups:Detroit vs. Miami, the Sequel:GOODBYE HEAT Weather: NO Beach vs. South Beach.Benefit: Miami MUSIC: Madonna vs. Gloria Estefan. The Queen of Pop against the conga. Benefit: Detroit Ideal SONG ABOUT CITY: Kisss Detroit Rock City vs. Will Smiths Miami. The Fresh Prince has as considerably street credibility as the Backstreet Boys. In addition to, Gene Simmons has slept with a lot more women than Wilt Chamberlain. Benefit: Detroit RAPPER: Eminem vs. Pitbull.I dont care for Eminem, but to paraphrase Stuttering John on Pitbull: WHO are you and what do you do that tends to make you renowned??? Advantage: Detroit RESTAURANT: Carls Chop Home vs. Joes Stone Crab. Carls is great, but Joes is the Ideal.Advantage: Miami WRESTLER: Rob Van Dam vs. The ROCK. The Rock is retired from the ring, but my great friend, Mr. Spend-Per-View/The Complete F---en. Show RVD, is the greatest athlete in wrestling. Dont think me? Ask Rasheed Wallace. Benefit: Detroit COLLEGE FOOTBALL Programs: U of M. vs. THE U. In the last 25 years, Michigan has won a single National Championship and produced the Most Clutch Quarterback in the NFL, by the name of Tom Brady. Nonetheless, the NFL must be known as the University of Miami Alumni Association, and THE U. has won 5 (count them: 5) National Championships (need to be seven. SEE FLAWED 2000 BCS System and 2003 National Championship Fiesta Bowl for the Worst Call in Sports History). Benefit: Miami COLLEGE FOOTBALL COACHES: Lloyd Carr vs. Larry Choker (Ooops, I meant Coker) This is College Footballs version of Rich Kotite vs. Ray Handley. Advantage: PUSH Renowned ALUMNI: Selma Blair & Dr. Jack Kevorkian vs. Michael Irvin & The ROCK. The Playmaker & The ROCK lay the Smackdown on all their Candy Asses. Advantage: Miami Ladies: Initially, this seems like a monumental mismatch. In terms of quantity, its a NO CONTEST, but had been talking good quality here. Miami/Ft. Lauderdale girls are FAKER than the silicone in their breasts. Motor City girls are HOT, but more importantly, theyre True. Advantage: Detroit SPORTS FANS: This is a larger mismatch than Microsoft vs. Enron. Detroit sports fans have suffered by way of years of futility with the Lions (nonetheless are) and Tigers, yet unconditionally support their teams by means of thick and thin. There were NO Heat fans prior to Wade and Shaq came to townAlonz-HO Mourning is the epitome of a sell-outthe Canes CANT sell out the Orange Bowl unless they play Florida State or Virginia Techand in spite of winning TWO Globe Series Championships in the franchises 1st 11 years, the Marlins are now on the brink of contraction. Not a poor concept. Although theyre at it, please contract all the fair climate fans as well. Hands down, Miami is the BANDWAGON FAN/WORST SPORTS TOWN IN AMERICA! Benefit: Detroit SPORTS Talk HOSTS: From what I have been told, it is NOT a prerequisite for prospective talent to have played for the Lions in order to have their personal speak show. They in fact have to be talented and entertaining broadcasters. Envision that? What a novel thought! Advantage: Detroit NFL TEAMS: Lions: NO Super Bowls Dolphins: TWO Nick Saban could be the next Bill Belichick and Matt Millen is the Isiah Thomas of NFL Front Offices. Advantage: Miami POINT GUARD: Chauncey Mr. Massive Shot Billups (2004 NBA Finals MVP) vs. Jason White Chocolate Williams. This is about comparable to asking Whats a greater movie: THE GODFATHER or GIGLI? Benefit: Detroit SHOOTING GUARD: RIP Hamilton vs. Dwyane Wade. For non-NBA followers, it seems like a no-brainer, but this is a lot closer than it appears. By the way, who held D. Wade scoreless in the fourth quarter of Game Seven 2005 Eastern Conference Finals? RIP, thats who. Nevertheless, this Flash most absolutely has substance. Benefit: Miami Small FORWARD: Tayshaun Prince vs. Antoine Walker. The battle of the Kentucky Wildcats. Celtic fans must be laughing, as Danny Ainge couldnt wait till An-twahn Walk-ah (Boston accent) left town. He couldnt play Defense if Tony Soprano held a gun to his head. Plus, Tayshaun is Straight Outta Compton, like Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, and Suge Knight. Advantage: Detroit Energy FORWARD: Rasheed Wallace vs. Udonis Haslem. Haslem gets exploited like Martha Stewart on Wall Street or Ashlee Simpson on Saturday Night Reside anytime these two face each other. Sheed is the greatest outdoors shooter 68 and above since a guy by the name of Bird. Following a couplemore championships, he will be headed to my hometown of Springfield, to the Basketball Hall of Fame. Maybe Sheed is the James Worthy of the 21st Century. Benefit: Detroit CENTER: Ben Wallace (four-time NBA Defensive Player of the Year) vs. Shaquille ONeal (3-time World Champion). Aside from a couple of playoff games, Shaq appears like a shadow of his former dominant self in this post-season. Shaq gets the edge, but Large BEN will give him all he can handle. By the way, who was the center who beat Shaq when he was with the Lakers in 04 and the Heat in 05? Now, that guy goes for the hat trick. Benefit: Miami COACHES: Flip Saunders vs. Pat Riley. Despite the reality that Riles hasnt won anything since Whitney Houston and George Michael had been atop the Billboard Charts in 1988, Flip only produced it previous the initial round as soon as in his profession prior to he got to Detroit. Riley is a sure-fire Hall of Fame coach, from searching at his pre-Miami rsum. Conversely, verify out his post-New York rsum hed have problems obtaining into the WNBA Hall of Fame (See 98, 99, 2000 Property Court Season Ending Playoff losses to the Knicks very first round Playoff loss to the then Charlotte Hornets in 01 draft lottery in 02 & 03). Aside from (figuratively) stabbing his best friend, Stan Van Gundy, in the back, hes most likely a nice guy. Advantage: Miami FRONT OFFICES: Joe Dumars vs. Pat Riley. Hands down, Joe Dumars is the greatest executive in the NBA (SEE lopsided trades: Grant Hill for Ben Wallace & Chucky Atkins Jerry Stackhouse for Richard Hamiltonyou may contact this a RIP OFF PUN Intended). Joe D. could not be perfect, passing on D. Wade, Chris Bosh and Carmelo in the 2003 Draft for Darko, but hes fairly damn close. Riley must know if it aint broke, dont repair it! His team was a minute and a half away from the NBA Finals a year ago, so what did he do? Got rid of the teams very best 3-point shooter, Damon Jones, legit point guard Keyon Dooling, underrated Rasual Butler, and greatest Defender, Eddie Jones, for White Chocolate, James POSER,and two way previous their prime egomaniacsWalker & Payton. But, most of all, he FIRED his protg, Stan Van Gundy, to appease his personal ego.Advantage: Detroit PREDICTION: To quote my new friend, Frank Vincent, a.k.a. Billy Batts from GOODFELLAS and Phil Leotardo from The Sopranos: MIAMIGO Home AND GET YOUR F---IN SHINEBOX! Mickey Arison may sign the paychecks, but the PISTONS Personal the Heat! DETROIT ROLLS IN 5 GAMES. GUARAN-SHEED! Dont forget to listen to The Sports Edge with yours actually, a.k.a. The Genuine American Idol, Marc Bednarczyk, & The Wonderful Jim Grieshaber, every single day on Sirius Satellite Radio (Channel 122) from 4-7 P.M. EASTERN. link building services